You told a joke about the Hellman's tragedy aboard the Titanic when it sunk, causing millions of tubs of Hellmans mayonnaise to be lost, hence this holiday: Sinko de Mayo.
You insisted that 1 shot of tequila was enough, then proceeded to pour 3 shots into a regular sized cup and claim it was one shot. Then yelled at everyone else for being a pussy and taking "mini" shots (read: normal) before you passed out on the couch a few minutes later.
You think Petrona (Petron + Corona) doesn't taste like old man piss and you force it on any and all who have the misfortune to sit next to you at the bar.
You drew a sharpie mustache on your finger and proceeded to make everyone take pictures with it/you all night. Wait, that's why I'm single.
Happy Cinco de Mayo people, stay single.
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